Her Fifth Year
by samchords
Summary: HBP in Ginny's point of view. Think you know what really happened? Sometimes the most unlikely people are the most important to you. Welcome to Ginny Weasley's Sixth Year. Hr/G,GinnyxCho,G/Harry Rated M. Read & Review! Chapter 7 will be up 11/14/10
1. Girl

**So I combined chapters two and three together and seven and eight together so instead of the original eight I had, I now have six solid chapters. I've also revised all the chapters into first person as I like it so much more and it gives the story a better flow. IF this is the first time reading then you will not even notice a difference. If it is your second or third or more times reading this is a heads up. This is my first story, this is femmslash, girl love, Yuri, lesbians go wild (Just kidding) whatever label you guys want to call it, it's not heterosexual love. Ginny likes girls and that's that. Please Review after you've read tell me what you like, tell me what you hate, tell me what I've messed up on, tell me what I got right. Tell me anything you want to tell me. If you Review you get a cyber cookie and those are loaded with joy and luck. Yeah, they're awesome. Do you want to be awesome? Then you need to have cyber cookies and you can only get them if you review my chapters….**

**Ok anyways I am a little weird but hopefully you'll get used to it. Hopefully. I love you all and please please remember to review I spend my nights after homework to write these and I want to know people are reading. If you are reading from your phone and can't review because of those limits, remember to get online sometime and hit me up! Reviews make me live longer. And you too!Ok enough of my weird commentary, onto the chapter. Chapter 8 will be up soon.**

**xXx**

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form, own anything in J.K Rowling's magnificent world. Enjoy.

Chapter 1

_Is there anybody going to listen to my story?_

_All about the girl who came to stay?_

_She's the kind of girl you want so much,_

_It makes you sorry._

_Still you don't regret a single day. – "Girl" / The Beatles_

~/~

[Ginny's POV]

A plethora of sounds can be heard from the piercing note of the horn, to the roar of the diesel engine to the click-clack of the wheels on the joints in the rail to the squeal of steel wheel on steel rail, as the Hogwarts express makes its last warning call.

But I am already on the train looking out window to the parents and siblings waving and yelling good luck wishes, to remember to write and to come home for Christmas. I sigh. Just thinking about my family makes me frustrated and angry. I don't know if anyone else knows what it feels being the youngest in a family of seven, but it sucks. Just to put it out there it sucks major hippogriff. The worst part isn't even that I'm the youngest but I'm the only girl. And you know what the means? Well I'll tell you what it means. It means that your mother expects me to be a certain way, to act a certain way and that stress that sometimes I can't handle. But I can't ever not try to live up to my mother's standards because I'm the only girl. There isn't anyone else to take the slack off. I lean my head against the cold window, the parents and crowds are hidden now by steam and train is beginning to move I hope this year will be fun, I hope I'll be able to get over my mother. And get over Her-. Don't think about her. It's done. I sigh. Why is life so hard and complicated? Why can't it be easy? Why can't people just like people forever? Why is there always bullshit excuses to fall out love, or to break up. Why are their society rules for that matter? Why can't people just accept other people?

I am pulled away by thoughts as my best friends Malcolm and Bianca enter the compartment and let in the loud and obnoxious noise of students outside my compartment. As they sit down I try my best to smile noticing their actions and how they touch each other unconsciously. My friends are slowly falling in love with each other and they don't even realize it. I stare at them and then away a tear threatens to fall out of my eye. I tilt my head up to try and catch it. This is all messed up even my best friends who last year had not acted like this at all had someone. Even Bianca who is neurotic and suffers from anxiety or OCD or both has potential love. I shake my head slightly, hating the unfair world.

I sit there for a couple more minutes fuming about my unfair life and the fact that I would probably end up alone, when Malcolm coughed.

"How was your summer Gin?" he asks gently.

I pick my head off the cold window rubbing my cheek trying to figure out an answer to his question. As much as I love my friends they won't understand. They don't know what it's like to have a parent not accept them for something especially not something like this. And plus would they accept me? Or would they get up and walk out and leave me feeling more alone then I am at this moment.

"Ginny?" His voice was fading away…

~/~

***Two months previously***

"GINERVA WEASLEY!" Molly Weasley yelled up the stairs. No response. "YOUNG LADY, IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW, SO HELP ME MERLIN I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

The mother took a deep breath and said in cruel and controlled voice "Get down here….NOW!"

Ginny opened her eyes as soon as the cool water had splashed on her face. This was the seventh time she had rinsed her face in the last ten minutes. Her mother had been yelling for some time now for her to get downstairs, still Ginny could not bring herself to comply. She knew she had about five minutes to come up with a valid excuse because her mother would eventually storm up the stairs even with her bad back.

Dozens of excuses came to my mind. I could tell her it was confusion or blame it on teenage hormones. I could even go down the path and pull out the blind card and demand she saw nothing and her old age ewes causing her to see things. I stared into the mirror. I couldn't lie about this though. This wasn't a silly prank or joke. This was my life and I had to come clean. I examined my face. I look scared. But I will not look scared in front of my own family. I tightened my jaw, and nodded. I would and could do this. Everything I had felt that summer had been real. And it had been amazing. I would tell my mother this. She would understand and accept me. Right? I walked out of the bathroom and toward the top of the stairs. I took one step down and I felt an internal wound open up, the fear was coming down on my. Another step down. Another step down and my hands got cold. Another step down, the stairs creaked, another step down. The journey down them seemed to go in slow motion. There was only about ten steps and yet it was taking a lifetime. Another step, I felt close to vomiting, another step, and another step I was shaking. Another step my brain was shouting at me excuses to tell her. One more step I almost ran back upstairs. But I didn't.

***END of FLASHBACK***

~/~

"Ginny! Ginny! Hey you there?" Malcolm is yelling. I blink and I'm back in the compartment.

Bianca is staring at me, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," I say confidently. "Yeah, Sorry must have just…"

"Went to la la land?" mutters Bianca to Malcolm. He raises his eyebrow at her and then looks at me.

"No, Just..uh you know." I wave my arms around as if this was going to help. "I was just out of it." I look away hoping they had bought it. Malcolm speaks up in his gentle voice again.

"Are you okay, earlier you seemed…?"

Bianca cut in, "Sad. Depressed even." Malcolm lets out a sigh and gives her a c'mon-don't be so-tactless look.

Bianca raises her arms "OK, OK, I give up." She stands up grabbing a pouch from below her seat.

"Come on lets go get some food, the lady never comes this far down the train." Malcolm nods and stands up, hands in his coat pockets looking at me expecting the same reaction.

"No its ok you guys I don't feel too well, stomach is hurting. Feel a bit noxious."

Bianca looks instantly apologetic. "Oh you should have said! That makes more sense. I go see if there's anything like crackers or something for that. I'm sorry I called you depressed."

I smile meekly at her, feeling guilty I lied. "It's ok."

"Are you sure you don't want us to just stay with you?" Malcolm asks. I brushed him off. "No, really it's fine. Go on I'll still be here when you get back." He nods and ushers Bianca out lingering her arm on her shoulder. As soon as the compartment door is shut. I let out a staggered breath and then tears began pouring. Thoughts of my mother unable to stop circulating within my head. I stand up and reach for my backpack. Pulling out a small journal I began writing. It was the one thing I used to keep my sanity at times in my house when I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone. I see my tears drop onto the page but I brush them off trying to write around the dots. I describe the train ride and the fact that Bianca and Malcolm will probably start dating soon. And I'd have to accept their happiness without any jealously. I didn't like either of them in that way, but I didn't want to be alone. I feel selfish I conclude. Selfish and self-pitying. I close the journal putting it under my chair. I wipe my eyes and pull my hair into a ponytail. As I stare into the window overlooking the Scottish country I see my reflection. I frown. I don't act like this. I don't pity myself. I'm fifteen dammit, I can handle the world. Forget my mother, forget Her, and forget all the troubles of this summer. This year is going to be better I decide. I stand up again cracking my knuckles. I am making a promise to myself to help people and to accept all people. I know what it's like to go through pain. I sit back down, staring absentmindedly out the compartment window when I see a glimpse of black shining hair whip by.

~/~


	2. What Hurts the Most

**Ok, drank my Starbucks got some energy, going to try to get through this conversion. Looking at my writing it wasn't where I wanted it to be, so I'm re-wrote everything. This chapter is all about Cho. It is safe to say that my version of Cho is extremely intense and an enormous romantic. She wears her heart most definitely on her sleeve which I believe is not complete OC of her. I hope you like it. Make sure to review, it makes me love the world, and plant trees and donate to charities. Yeah…So review and we can all live in a better world. I have class in four hours but who cares if I love the world? My logic is fool-proof. Anyways my point is to review for then I love you. And my love cures any disease. Except an obsession to Harry Potter…**

**xXx**

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form, own anything in J.K Rowling's magnificent world. Enjoy.

Chapter 2

_What hurts the most,_

_Was being so close._

_And havin' so much to say,_

_And watchin' you walk away._

_And never knowin',_

_What could've been._

_And not seein' that lovin' you,_

_Is what I was tryin' to do. – "What Hurts the Most" / Rascal Flatts_

_~/~_

[Cho's POV]

I tried not to run into anyone or anything as I walked down the moving train aisle past crowds of students. I walked carefully in between compartment doors hoping not to crash into any students leaving their compartments. I was Head Girl, and that meant I had a lot of jobs to do before we ever got to Hogwarts. Jobs like walking down the Hogwarts express checking to see people were setting off Fireworks in their compartments or setting their friend's pets on fire. She passed by Harry Potter and his friends, and then the Hufflepuff clan of Susan Bones and the Abbott sisters, and I even walked by Draco Malfoy and his band of potential death eaters. Sorry did I just think that outloud? As I passed by Dean Thomas and his Gryffindor friends I realized I was in the sixth-year section of the train.

I had hated my Sixth year with every fiber of my being I had never felt so helpless or hopeless; the thought of suicide in my mind every day of that year. Where he used to be, there was now a hole in me, which I found myself falling into at night. When I wasn't depressed I was fuming with rage, angry at Cedric for leaving me in this mess, angry at Voldemort for murdering him, livid at the world for not being able to save him. When I wasn't angry I was tremendously emotional always borderline to losing my mind. My world began to deteriorate; I lost my Quidditch skills because my mind was always thinking of something else, I lost my confidence because I began to sink back into the shadows and talk less and less to my peers, I lost my happiness because he…

The train gave a jolt and I was pushed back into reality and I realized I was leaving the sixth-year section and entering the fifth.

My fifth year had been incredible.

I had been in love with the most amazing man ever and he had loved me with all his being. He constantly told me how happy and unbelievable he was to be dating me, to have me as a girlfriend, to know every part of me in great detail and we had only been dating for a few months. As an abstract concept, I would find myself lying my dormitory smiling wondering if I was feeling love. Always the Ravenclaw, I had wanted to analyze my feelings. I had never felt this deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. These emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. But I was sure it was love because I felt everything in him. I felt an almost obsessive desire and intimacy that I felt with no one else. I concluded that it is perhaps the complexity of feelings that makes love unusually difficult to define, but I was also able to conclude that I would have died for Cedric as he would for me. I remembered the early hours in the astronomy tower after a passionate night Cedric would stare at me and run his hand down and trace every line around my face and stomach. He would study me for hours, never getting bored; his heart bursting with love for me. We were soul mates.

But I should have known that something this good would never last.

Finally, to the left was the Head's Compartment located between the Fifth-Year Section to Seventh-Year section and the Fourth-Year section to First-Year section. I slid open the door and gave a weak smile to the Head Boy.

"What did you get, I'm starving!" Roger Davis exclaimed. I reached into my pocket and tossed him a couple of chocolate frogs, some pumpkin pastries, and a bag of assorted candy. He raised an eyebrow.

"Hand it over, I know you have it on you."I sighed and tossed him over my flask of Firewiskey. He took a swig.

"Ah that's exactly what I needed." he said screwing the top back on and rubbing his temples. I took the flask back silently and sat down across from him.

"So…" A silence built up. He was staring at her. "Cho…"

I bit my lip as I tried not to cry. His face was slowly changing into Cedric. She could see every line change. No it's not him I told myself. He's dead he's gone. Move on. But I couldn't move on. I was broken. He broke me and I was unable to repair.

"Cho! You need to pull yourself together this year. This is our last year and I'm not going to let you stay a miserable wreck." I sighed pulling her robe sleeves tighter over her wrists. If he saw my scars he would leave me. Or turn me in, or worse tell people. No he couldn't see them.

He didn't notice her shift. "I'm your best friend and I'm gonna fix you up ok?" He smiled. "We'll find someone for you. You don't have to be alone, even if you choose to." he finished out of the corner of his mouth.

So that's what he thinks? I'm depressed because I'm lonely? He knows nothing of my past summer. Perhaps you should tell me another voice said to me. No he wouldn't be able to change the fact. The fact that everyone dies around me and it is better to be alone.

"-what about Potter what happened with him?" He was saying. I cleared my throat and said in small voice "Harry was a mistake, I don't even know if we're still friends."

"Cho." he said softly, "Don't do this to you."

"Don't do what." I retorted angrily knowing the answer.

"Look, he started; you had all of last year to get over him, and to accept his death and fine, he looked away, -to mourn for him."But," he looked at her face again, "but it's been a year, Cedric wouldn't want you to be miserable like this and never find love again."

My breath caught audibly in a spasmodic contraction of her throat. I stood up enraged. "Yeah? What do you know about what Cedric wanted?"

"-I..."

"-You know what I think?" I cut in angrily. "I think he wanted to live, alright? I think he wanted to live so that he could come back safely, I hiccupped, and see me ok?"

The tears were started to fall uncontrollably. "-and we could start our lives together!" I yelled through sobs.

"But guess what?" Roger stared, his mouth slightly open.

"Guess what…He. Was. murdered. Did he get what he wanted?" I asked through slow tears.

"I…" he tried to say.

"No!"

"So why... why…do I deserve to get what I want?" I sniffed.

"WHY?"

Roger made to grab me into a hug but I pushed him off.

"I DON'T! OK? I DON'T GET TO HAVE WHAT I WANT. No! Get off of me! Get off!" she was shouting shoving him away. Her attempts were useless; he was much stronger.

"Get off." I sniffed, "Get off."

"Get… get…"

"Shh," he murmured in my hair as he tightened the hug."Shh…shh, it's ok…it's ok… I'm here for you."He pulled back a little and pushed some hair out of my face.

"Roger," I sobbed in his shoulder "Roger…" I hiccupped; "he's gone, he's still gone." I was murmuring over and over into his collar.

He tilted my head up wiped tears away with his thumb, reaching into his pants pocket.

"Love is like a puzzle Cho." he said delicately handing her a handkerchief from his pocket. "When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together." I thanked him quietly and wiped my eyes.

"But trust me." He continued to stare, his gaze full of intense concentration and affection for her.

"You and me…"

"We're going to find those broken pieces."

~/~

Students were squealing all around me, pushing and shoving trying to get to nearest exits and off the train. "Prefects!" I yelled. "Prefects, control your house! Get them into some sort of order!" But the prefects it seemed were just as eager to get off the train as well or simply couldn't hear me over the bustle. Indeed second years were literally running down the hallways hyper active sending parchment and left over trolley snacks zooming about.

"Uggghh…" I groaned, touching my forehead a headache forming, where was Roger when I needed him!

As I scanned the packed hallways I zoned in on him talking to a very pretty blonde Hufflepuff girl who I suspected for a Sixth-year. He was whispering probably clever 'Roger Charms' into her ear because the blonde was grinning and blushing at the same time. I couldn't see where one of his hands was but I was sure I didn't want to find out the location. "Roger!" I yelled as a Fourth-year ran into her by accident. "ROGER!" I called louder.

Roger looked up annoyed until he realized who was calling him. I made a face and pointed to the chaotic surroundings around us. "A little help! I called out, Mr. Head Boy!" Roger nodded and grinned once more to the Hufflepuff girl slipping her a piece of parchment into her robes. She gave him a peck on the cheek and walked north out the doors.

"ALRITE KIDDIES!" No one payed him the slightest attention so he frowned pulling something out from around his neck.

"Alright, SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!" he yelled and then he blew his silver whistle that every Quidditch captain received. It was shrill and earsplitting and most importantly it got the students attention. They looked up from the commotion and glanced at him. "Follow Mr. Davis, I'm sure you lot are all starving, right?" When the crowd murmured in agreement Roger smiled, looked up, and gave me thumbs up.

"I'll take this lot; you do rounds, meet you in the great hall in thirty minutes."

I silently thanked him with mouth movements and turned around to start rounds. Slowly the noise of students faded away until I only heard the train whirling and the low buzz of the engine and air-conditioning. The train gave a warning blow that it would leave in fifteen so I sped up checking every compartment from the First-Year to Fourth-Year compartments, picking up forgotten clothing and also making sure no students had fallen asleep and remained onboard. As I approached the Slytherin Sixth-Year compartment and opened the door I thought I could feel a presence but the train gave another whistle for its ten minutes mark and I quickly left. I went around to the front of the train to check the Prefects' compartment, the Seventh-Year compartments and the Fifth-Year compartments which happened to be way up at the front. Sliding open the door I was relieved to see that no one had left anything until I saw a small battered brown book shoved into the seat cushion.

_**Property of G. Weasley **_was written on the back. G. Weasely. Ginny Weasley? Fred and George's little sister? Rifling through it at a closer look I noticed it was a journal and immediately closed it. I made a mental note to return it. The train gave another whistle and I quickly stowed it away in my bag, walking out the train doors up to the last Threstal-drawn carriage reserved for me and Roger, although it seemed as though he had gotten a ride in a another carriage; I suspected the blonde Hufflepuff he had been talking to earlier was involved.

I pulled a cigarette out of my bag and realized a year ago I wouldn't have been able to see Threstrals, but a year ago my father was alive. I tried not to think about it the night was gloomy and rainy enough. There was not a better symbol then the weather to match my mood and this only made me feel more depressed. I took another swig of my flask letting the liquid burn my throat and the smoke burn my lungs. At least then I could feel something. I entered the carriage which took off as soon as I sat down and took another drag. I couldn't wait until this year was over, so I could get away once and for all from the place that had given me the most happiness I could have possibly ever had and then ripped it all away.

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	3. Unfaithful

**If you notice, all of Ginny's POV are in the present case, and Cho's are in the past. This is done on purpose. Remember to review and tell me what you hate or like! Please? –Gets on floor and begs? - No I'm just kidding I have too much dignity for that (awkward face)…..anyways…Now onto the chapter! **

**xXx**

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form, own anything in J.K Rowling's magnificent world. I borrowed some lines from HBP; these also do not belong to me. Enjoy.

Chapter 3

_Story of my life_

_Searching for the right_

_But it keeps avoiding me_

_Sorrow in my soul_

_Cause it seems that wrong_

_Really loves my company – "Unfaithful" / Rihanna_

~/~

[Ginny's POV]

After three weeks I find myself talking and more to Harry. I can't help it. He is always involved in something dangerous. He is interesting. What I like most about him the most was his hair. It is beautiful; the untidiness fell perfectly into his eyes. And don't get me started on his eyes. His eyes are a piercing emerald green that when he looks at me, I think he can read my thoughts. Anytime he says my name or looks at me my stomach flips and I want to be instantly around him. His voice is deep but not too deep in the sense that he has too much testosterone to not have a brain. He is gifted at defense spells, he is brilliant at Quidditch, he is taller than me, he is wealthy, He does not insult anyone and he respects women. Is it a mystery that I am attracted to him?

"Gin, Gin," someone murmurs into my ear. "Huh?" I tear my eyes away from the back of Harry's head.

Dean Thomas rolls his eyes.

"Oh sorry," I look at Dean's sad face. We are sitting together in a secluded corner of the Gryffindor Common Room. "I told you, I don't need to."

Dean had asked me yet again to go to Hogsmeade with him so he could properly introduce me to Seamus. It wasn't that unreasonable. Because it made sense Dean would want to make them official in his best friend's eyes. But it made me feel guilty every time he brought it up because I have already decided this relationship isn't going to work out. The one thing that kept us together was the sex. I didn't even enjoy his kisses. He was purely useful for one biological need. Being around him grossed me out; I hated his facial hair, his breath, his voice, his lack of chest, his personality, and his views on the world, religion, and women. He was good for one thing and that was only because he possessed the organ.

"I know him already, -and he knows me we've been classmates for what…four years now?" I say in my attempt to get out of it.

Dean gets closer and wraps his arm around my waist. "I know, but love," he grins, "I want it to be proper and make it official." He is staring right into my brown eyes and all I can think as I look back into his eyes is how there was not a trace of green in his eyes. I blink and sigh. Dean really likes me. I just can't stand him. But I've let it go on for this long at least. And I feel I can do this one last thing for him before I break it off completely.

"You know what, yes, of course, this Saturday?" I say as I clasp one of Dean's hands into my own.

"This Saturday." he says, triumphant, tucking a loose piece of hair behind my ear and I smile weakly and whisper, "I'll be there."

~/~

[Cho's POV]

"-Weasley saves it, well he's bound to get lucky sometimes, I suppose…" Zacharias Smith shouted into his magical microphone. I had just arrived at a rather anticipated match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. I took off my bag and sat down, alone, in the crowded stands. Thirty minutes in, 'it seemed Gryffindor could do no wrong, Ginny Weasley had already scored four of the six goals' and Ron Weasley had saved all the attempts. I allowed myself to smile, I heartily disliked Slytherin House and I had played Quidditch against them for five years, suffice to say they did not play fair. A loud cheer from my side of the pitch erupted, Ginny had just scored again. I turned my direction to the fiery red head who was flying around the pitch in an apparent victory run, her fist high in the air, massive grin on her face and eyes locked on…Harry?

Ginny that has a nice ring to it. Why do I feel like I need to talk to her? I looked around my peers for anything that would trigger my memory. Many of them were cat calling and shouting, the people next to me were screaming, clapping, cheering loudly at the zooming brooms. She looked behind her to Roger who although he had said he was coming for research as he was the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, was very busy talking to a different Blonde Hufflepuff girl. I smirked at his charm. As I glanced over to the Gryffindor section and saw Hermione Granger, a sixth year with a book in her lap.

Right! The journal! Her journal, Ginny's journal! I should hand that back, journals are very important to people. I jumped up ignoring the confusion of my peers as they squirmed about to give me a path of exit. I rushed out of the stands, down the stairs, and up the hill to the castle. Pushing open the front doors I yelled a quick "Sorry!" to four injured third years that had not gotten out of the door's way fast enough and practically ran to the staircase. Students who had not attended the match, mainly Slytherins, were raising eyebrows at my brisk march.

Calm down, calm down, you look foolish, people are staring, you hate when people stare. I checked if my cloak was still on straight as I rode the staircase to the 8th floor. Stepping off, I arranged my hair smoothly and took a breath. I walked elegantly to the Ravenclaw Tower slowing my pace as I approached the door to the Ravenclaw Common Rooms. Knocking softly on the door once and I waited for the Eagle shaped knocker to awake. In a soft yet eerie voice the knocker whispered: _"The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?"_

I almost smiled. It was all too easy. I had rechanneled all my energy into school work. These riddles were pointless. "Footsteps." I replied.

"Correct, you may enter." it stated as the door swung open, and I walked through. A few moments later I was in the Ravenclaw Common Room. It was a decent room I had decided. The room was filled with bookshelves except for the side that displayed the statue of Rowena Ravenclaw. It was a circular, graceful, room with arched windows that lined the walls. The spaces in between were covered with blue banners and one could see the surrounding mountains outside these windows. I would often stare out the windows in her room, in the early morning lost in the spectacular view. Looking around myself I realized most of the students were at the match but there were a few students in the common room, a pair of fourth years we're fighting over who won their last game of exploding snap, a slightly emotional second-year was in the corner writing to…probably his mother and someone's cat was milling about, stalking any pet rats. I ignored them, and rushed to the staircase opposite of me. One step at time, one step at a time.

I climbed up the staircase to the second floor which had a balcony that could overlook the Common Room. To either side of me there were two separate staircases that divided dormitories by gender. In front of me was the Head's Staircase for the Head Boy and Girl of that year if they happened to be in Ravenclaw. I climbed up some more stone steps arriving at two mahogany doors with shiny gold doorknobs and blue and silver banners hanging on the front. I pulled the key out from around my neck and unlocked the door to her room. A chill ran through me as I realized I had left the windows were open.

As I entered the Head Girl's Dormitory I tripped over the massive amount of scrolls pilled by the door entrance. My room was littered with scraps of old and new parchment, empty and full ink bottles, textbooks, books I never had time to read, and a pile of clean and dirty robes. On the table to the left of me were astronomy charts from all six years, a sextant and watch, ancient runes translations, and a full telescope set up pointing out one of the twelve windows of her room. To the right was my four-poster bed, made up by house elves. I had however left a note at the start of term, warning them to never touch anything else. To the north of me was another table with N.E.W.T transfiguration homework lined up, an alchemy set and a cauldron set up currently empty. To the left of the cauldron was a pile of Daily Prophets underneath a window where an empty cage rested. I rushed over, tripping over more clothing and books to get to it. Underneath the mess I found it; the small brown battered book. As I turned around to leave, I caught a glance at my pet cat, Helo, fast asleep stretched out in his basket. Boomer, her pet owl was probably fast asleep in the Owlery. I had seen Helo at an adoption home, when I was staying with my grandmother over the summer. Dumbledore had allowed me to buy Helo when I begged him over the summer to let me adopt him from a Muggle shelter. "You are Head Girl after all and that has its advantages," he had said.

I smiled as I remembered this, cradling the brown book amidst the mess I finally got back to the door and shoved the faded book into my bag. On my way out I tripped over the same pair of shoes.

~/~


	4. Littlest Things

**Tell me if it was too confusing or anything. To clarify some points: This is in no way, shape or form a Hr/G story, though I do ship it and I'm not completely throwing away the idea. Ok now onto the chapter! Please Review!**

**xXx**

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form, own anything in J.K Rowling's magnificent world. Enjoy.

Chapter 4

_Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing  
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'  
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's  
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses_

_Dreams, Dreams…Of when we had just started things  
Dreams of you and me…  
It seems, it seems…That I can't shake those memories  
I wonder if you have the same dreams too. – "Littlest Things" / Lily Allen_

~/~

[Ginny's POV]

The common room was deafening with the constant cheers of Gryffindors screaming their excitement at the match's results. On top of that it was stuffy and the air was clogged with the stench of alcohol and smoke from recently exploded firecrackers. But the high I was experiencing was unbelievable. We had bloody won! Beat Slytherin to that and Harry had seen me play. Seen me score goal after goal. Did he notice when I scored I searched for his face in the stands? Did he know I was playing my best so that he would feel supported and confident that his team was left in good hands? I smile to myself as I remember a particular goal but this smile soon turns into a scowl as I see hands grab my brother's shoulders and a feminine face squish their lips on top of his. I scrunch my nose up as I realize Lavender Brown as made contact with Ron's face. Harry walks over to me also watching the sight but his face is of laughter and happiness for his best friend. I decide to make conversation. As Ron leaves with Lavender in hand, I yell over the music. "Looks like he's eating her face doesn't it?"

"A bit, yes." he laughs. My stomach flips when he looks at me and pats my shoulder. "You were amazing today Ginny, there's no question. I was worried about the team but I know I can count on you." I stare into eyes as he says this heart soaring. His hand is still on my shoulder after he's finished talking and I look at it. It's not a huge hand I decide but it's bigger than mine. I examine his face and see the black circles under his eyes and the frown line developing on his forehead. I see the stress taking its toll on him and I feel bad. For one so young it's unfair he has this much pressure on his shoulders. He finally removes his hand and as soon as I feel the pressure leave I feel colder. He walks away receiving pats of approval from fellow Gryffindors and soon is eaten up by the crowd in front of me. I stare for a while at nothing in particular until I see a bushy brown head dart from the crowd and out of the tower. Instantly I know who it is. I take a sip of the drink in my head contemplating if I should go after her. It's been two months into semester and I've done my best to avoid her, removing all contact. But after this game I feel brave or braver then I have felt in a long time. I take another sip and decide tonight is the night I will approach her about our summer and clear the air. I move to leave but suddenly a rough hand is on my back.

Dean has wandered over. "Ginny, Ginny babe." he slurs. "Ginny babes, kiss me, give us a kiss," I scowl smelling the alcohol on his breath. "You're drunk." I say with distaste which he doesn't pick up on.

"Well I hope so!" He chuckles merrily. I pull away from his arm and shout to Seamus. "Oy, get him up to his bed he's had too much."

Seamus laughs as though it is funny that his best friend is completely smashed. "Come on lad, come on Deanie this way…" he cooes. "She'll kiss you in the wee morning I promise." I roll my eyes and take one final sip of my drink and move away from the crowd. I grab my cloak which is on a chair and still in my Quidditch robes exit the tower. The corridors are empty as it is quite late at night and many of the other houses with the exception of Slytherin are in this common room celebrating the game or getting an early start on weekend fun. I brush some hair out of my face and tug the cloak together around as I feel a draft hit my body as soon as I climb onto a moving staircase and wonder where Hermione has gone. My first guess is the library but it seems she was upset and didn't want to be seen. I think about places where she can go where no one will see her and it hits me. She's gone to the fifth floor. I ride the staircase to the fifth floor and jump off looking around to see if perhaps she is on her way back. No one is around so I continue walking down, careful not to disturb any of the sleeping portraits. I hate when they yell at me, especially when it's very quiet and then it comes at me randomly. It scares the Merlin out of me. Our old portrait comes into view, a painting of Athena, an old Greek God that is mentioned in many of our textbooks. I take my wand out and tap the top and bottom of the frame twice. It swings open and I step through.

And there _she_ is head in her lap.

"He..hey," I say.

Hermione looked up a puzzled expression on her face. "...It's been...-

"I know almost two months into term…"

"So why…"

"-I don't know, I couldn't face you."

"It wasn't your faul-…"

-I know, I'm sorry…I…"

"Come here."

"I was... What?"

"Come here." Hermione repeats, her arms opening. I take a step closer not sure what she is intending to do with me. If she slaps me I will understand but I am not quite in the mood to be slapped. I approach her and she closes the distance with a hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" I start to mumble the instant I can smell her hair.

"Shh. It's Ok." She seems to have been crying.

"Are you ok?" I say pulling back to examine her face closer.

She nods. "I just had to be alone by myself for a while. I've been working on those" She points to the ceiling and I notice a pair of canary birds circling the roof that I had not realized upon entering. I look back down to her and frown.

"Is this about Ron?" I ask in my best attempt to act like I don't care.

"Yes." she says slowly. "I think I've always liked him, but now it's deeper and I thought he liked me too, but then he goes and pulls a stunt like that."

I'm confused did she like him this past summer when she and I were together? How long has she liked him?

"I thought he was a phase." I blurt out rudely.

She stands up with an apologetic look on her face. "No we were a phase."

I chuckle. "Don't make me laugh. You enjoyed yourself."

She narrows her eyes but sighs. "I will admit it was a hell of ride but your mum was too much for me to handle. And she was so cruel to you Ginny about us, once she found out. We had to end it."

I look away my eyes starting to water. She has never loved me as I had loved her. I doubt she had ever gone that far as to love me.

"We didn't have to end it." I whisper. "You were just too afraid."

I begin to walk toward the exit regretting that I've now ended it worse than before. I am one foot away from the portrait when she calls out for me stop.

"I'm sorry." she states. "I'm sorry it ended like it did." I can hear her walking closer to me. She turns me over to face her. Her face is so close to mine.

I walk back over to where she had been sitting before and pull up a chair. "I came here to clear the air. I state looking anywhere but her. "I ended it badly and I want us to be at least on neutral terms." Hermione walks over nodding slowly. "You avoided me."

I don't say anything. I avoided her because looking at her, seeing her face makes me want to die sometimes. Knowing that we had been something, knowing what we had done, and then realizing we were not together. It was too much for me.

She doesn't say anything more so I look up. She's staring at me but it's a different kind of stare. It's a stare you sometimes give to a past love, a stare that is letting me know that she is remembering what I'm remembering. And even though I came in here to clear the air and even though she came in here to cry over a boy, and even though I hate her so much sometimes, I can still remember the way she tastes. I can still remember her sweet spots. She's so close and yet so far. My mind is bursting with memories. Memories I've tried so hard to keep locked away; Hermione in her bed, Hermione in the sunlight, Hermione and her sitting by the stream comfortable in each other's embraces. Her smell is was everywhere. I can't help myself. I can tell she's thinking the same thing.

She blinks and moves to touch my hair. As soon as she makes contact I close my eyes.

"You know I've missed your hair. Ron's is so short and he has this stubble…." she whispers.

My mind is racing with images of kissing Hermione in my room, kissing Hermione in the field near the Lovegoods' Tower, kissing her in an abandoned alley near The Leaky Cauldron, in the tool shed, lying her down in the middle of a field hidden by tall weeds nothing but the sun and the sky and just me and her. Just Hermione and Ginny

I can't help it anymore I close the gap and press my lips onto hers. They fit perfectly just like I knew they would. It's like we never broke up. She kisses me back and closes her eyes. As her eyes shut I feel tears fall onto my cheeks tears that are not mine. I wipe them off her face and gently pull away. Hermione doesn't open her eyes she holds her head for a second and then drops it, her shoulders beginning to quake.

"I've missed you so much." she says through gasps of breath. "So much and now it's like no time has passed. It's like its summer again and we're together again."

I feel my own tears state to form because I can understand the inner battle going on in her head the one that is telling her she has missed me so much and the one that is telling her it is wrong to like girls.

I move to say something but my lips are caught by hers and she pushes me on the floor pulling at my clothes. She has stopped crying now, her eyes only full of lust. I pull off her sweater as she straddles me and sit up dragging my nails down her back. She moans back arching and attacks my mouth again, pulling at my Chasers sweater. I help her and soon we are both naked from the torso up. I take control and push her down lying on top of her feeling our chests make contact. I drag kisses down her neck to her chest and take one of breasts into my mouth. She gasps as I bite and rolls her eyes back as I start to move down. My mouth passes her belly button just above her skirt when I stop.

Flashes of Hermione staring at Ron, at Fred, owling Krum, yelling at me for believing that she was cheating suddenly fill my mind, I remember rainy nights when Hermione has refused to meet up with me for fear of being seen. I remember waiting hours in the woods outside my house only to realize she has stayed in her room. I remember her standing there looking at me saying nothing as my mother screams and throws insult after insult at me. I remember her refusal to defend me, to have my back. All I can remember is her running back to harry and Ron. I remember her denying that she and I were ever together. All I can picture is being with her in the dark and never around anyone else. I was her dirty secret.

I look up at her, her face is hidden in her hands and her legs are spread without me even asking. When I don't continue she looks down at me and I am sitting up. I look around and find my sweater and robes. Her face falls.

"Where are you going?"

I stand up moving to leave.

"I didn't know we were done."

I put one hand on the portrait. "We're done." I say strongly and then I pull the frame open and step out.

I am feeling more free then I have in a long time.

~/~


	5. Secret

**Please review. I thought Charlie would be an interesting idea. Love you all. Ok and now on to the chapter. Review!**

**xXx**

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form, own anything in J.K Rowling's magnificent world. Enjoy.

Chapter 5

_I would've shouted loud and broken through_

_I would've given it all to belong to you_

_But there were different plans, different rules_

_You said "where I'm from there is a lock and key_

_If you'd be so kind as to follow me_

_I will show you the way to the rest of my sins"_

_Cos you've got a secret don't ya babe?_

_Yeah you, you got a secret don't ya babe?_

_And I should know_

_Yeah I should know – "Secret" / Missy Higgins_

~/~

[Ginny's POV]

Although Hermione had not defended her when my mother threw insult after insult to me, I couldn't completely blame her. But even that thought did not make me walk back into the room I had just left. Hermione had used me, had taken my heart and caressed and loved it and then squished it under her shoes. She had left it outside to wither and die. I walk back to Gryffindor tower angry that I have let me emotions get the better of me. But I am also proud of myself for being able to leave. I take the staircase back to the seventh floor and let me mind wander. I remember that Charlie had come to my room two days after my confession to my mother.

~/~

"I wish, I had better advice then what I'm about to tell you." I'm confused and unaware of what he's talking about.

He looked away from me towards the window, in deep thought. His hand brushed against his red locks and then he sighed. "Ginny, I'm like you." he said firmly and deliberately. I raised my eyebrows.

"You're like…me…" I repeated slowly. He stared into my brown eyes and nodded.

"Ok…" I sat up a little more pulling a blanket around my shoulders. I'm not sure I know wh-"

"Yes you do," he interrupted. "I'm gay as well. I love men."

I opened my mouth in shock and then quickly closed it "I…I…"

"Why didn't you tell me!" I demanded.

He stood up and walked to the window, his back to me. "Because I was smart." he murmured. "Because I knew you'd probably let it slip to Ron, who would most definitely tell mum and I knew how she felt about homosexuality. I was smart." he concluded.

He turned around to find me.

"Ginny, you need to go downstairs and lie to her." he said, tears in his eyes. "Lie with all your heart that you were confused, going through a phase, teen curiosity. Lie that you don't love Hermione, lie that you never did, lie that you don't even know what love is, lie-…"

"Wait!" I yelled, "What?" I stood up in rage, the blanket falling off me."Lie! Give in? No no! I won't!" Charlie grabbed my shoulders.

"If you want to be a part of this family, your only family! Then you must! Trust me this is for the better…"

~/~

I sit up in a pile of sweaty sheets. For once I wish that had been a dream but instead it had been a conversation I would never forget. I did tell my mother what Charlie had asked for, and my mother took her back in, sending Hermione away making the excuse that Hermione's parents had written her, missing their daughter. I can clearly remember asking why Hermione had gone and not said goodbye and my mother avoiding eye contact and telling her Hermione didn't want to wake up her up as she left early in the morning.

I rub my eyes and checking my clock on the bedside table near me. 4AM bloody hell, I don't know if I'll be able to get up in the morning. But then again I've already missed a ton of class why should it matter. I glance around too awake to go back to sleep. My eyes fall on my journal that Cho Chang had give back to me earlier yesterday after Quidditch Practice.

~/~

She had mentioned that she found in the train while making a double check for students but all I was noticing was her beautiful cheekbones, and the lips that she guessed were saying words but Ginny only noticed the shape and smoothness they had. When Cho continued talking, she pushed a strand of silky black hair that had a habit of falling into her face. I gulped, a tingling sensation running down my body. Cho stopped talking after several moments when I didn't respond to her seemingly question.

I blinked rapidly and then coughed. "Right ok, thanks." Not knowing a bloody thing she was talking about.

Cho smiled and I melted again.

"So, your Charlie's sister right?" Cho asked rummaging in her coat pocket. I nodded and began walking back to castle, Cho followed lighting a cigarette. "You don't mind do you? Cho quickly asked making a gesture to put out the cigarette. I shook my head. Cho took a drag and they continued to walk.

"He's in Romania at the moment." I said after a minute.

"Oh?"  
"Yup, studying dragons" Ginny finished shrugging her broom over her shoulder. The side entrance door was coming into their view and Ginny's mood dropped, she wanted more time with Cho.

"Dragons…" Cho was saying blowing out smoke examining how the smoke formed in the wind. "That's exciting, but dangerous isn't it?"

I nodded.

"Do you miss him?"

"So much," I said a sad note in her voice, which Cho picked up on as she dropped the subject.

They were at the door. Cho smiled glancing at her wristwatch. "Charms has always been my favorite class, did you know that?" she said in a singsong voice.

I raised my eyebrows "Really? Me too." I responded trying not to show the inner battle waging on. Bullocks! Defense of the Dark Arts is! Shut up! Agree with the pretty girl.

Cho's eyes brightened "Brilliant! Maybe I could help you with your lessons, you know show you a few tips," Cho laughed. Ginny smiled. Play it cool. I thought. Don't freak out you'll scare her off.

"A few tricks? I'm already pro though! Didn't you know? Ministry's been owling me for days asking if they can hire me." Cho quirked her head and then noticing it was joke, giggled.

"You're silly" she said batting her eye lashes probably not on purpose but I took note and clenched my hands into fists.

"Well anyways, if you ever decide you need help, just drop by the table." I assumed the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall.

"And don't hesitate to ask."

I nodded. Play it cool I repeat in my head. Play. It. Cool.

"Yeah, I might do that."

Cho smiled the most beautiful smile and then went in for a hug which confused me but I recovered and squeezed her maybe a little too hard although Cho didn't seem to notice.

"See you around." she giggled. I nodded again, the voices in my head telling her not to say anything for fear of sounding like an idiot. I quickly waved as Cho dropped her cigarette stepping on it and entered the door.

My heart rate was soaring through the roof, Cho's scent still in my nose and her face still in my mind.

"Oh dear Merlin…" I mumbled under my breath as I mounted my broom and took off into the sky in an attempt to relax.

~/~

I look up from the cover of my journal grinning at the thought of Cho. Perhaps she would drop by today I ponder as I slip back under the covers closing my eyes.

All too soon my 8:30 alarm goes off and I grudgingly open my eyes taking in the sound of my peers scrambling, screaming about a lost hairbrush and that breakfast was almost over. I groan hating when I miss breakfast but my bed is soft and warm and comfy, and – "OPEN UP, GINNY DAMMIT TALK TO ME! OPEN UP!" a loud knocking could be heard over the bustle of the girls.

They all stop and turn to look at me. Rachel Waddow, a fifth year disheveled red-haired who wore too much makeup pushes me out of the bed to the door.

"Deal with it." she growls, "He's been sitting out all night."

"All night? Really?"I ask fuzzily.

"Yes." she growls as she opens the door, "Hey Dean," she snaps. "Yeah, she's in, see you later" as she walks past him out of the dormitory.

Dean practically falls into the room; he had been levitating himself to avoid the nasty slide-like staircase that turned into a trap once any boy tried to enter. As he picks himself up ignoring all the shouts from the girls telling him to get out, I drag him into a corner with a couple tables and bookcases partially concealing them.

"Rachel says you've been sleeping outside there for the night…" I start.

"The night?" he asked, "Nah I've been there for about an hour."

"Oh really?" Rachel always lies about everything. Last week she lied about Hermione liking Fred, the week before that she said she saw McGonagall checking out Dumbledore. I make a mental note not to believe anything she says.

"Hey! Focus here!" Dean snaps_._

I turn to look at him, "Why are you here Dean?"He makes an exasperated face and lets out a huff.

"I feel like we don't talk anymore! You avoid me in the hallways and at meals. I mean come on Ginny, you're my girlfriend! I understand you might be going through some things but let me in! Tell me, I care for you."

I sigh.

"Dean…" I say, his face hopeful. "Dean," I say slowly taking his hand, "I think we should break-…"

"Don't say it" he says sounding panicky all the sudden and he pulls his hand out of mine.

"Don't say it! Ginny why…!" I raise my eyebrows, and lean away slightly from him.

"What did I do? Tell me!" he yells a hand on his head.

I stand up feeling guilty that I've fallen out of like for him. That his kisses are rough and unenjoyable. That he's a sloppy drunk. That he bores me and seems more like an annoying sibling then a boyfriend. "It's not you it's me…" I start slowly.

"Oh don't give me that, spare me please" he stands up shaking his head, hand covering his mouth. Spare you? Fine Dean I will spare you.

"I'm just not interested in you anymore; you always try to help me through easy things like the damn portrait hole! You drink too much! You brag too much! I mean for Merlin's sake it's like you want to date yourself and not me."

He sits there in silence, for a couple moments. And I close my mouth, I can't tell is this situation is going good or bad.

He finally stops nodding feverishly and opens his mouth. "You know what!"

I look up.

"This relationship is over!" his arms gesturing finality."_I'm_ breaking up with you! Stupid cow!" He grumbles out of the room not bothering to levitate himself down the slide. The other girls look at me raising eyebrows, toothbrushes still in their mouth.

"Git." I shrug.

And then I climb back into bed, roll over and close my eyes. I want to dream of silky black hair and a pair of striking brown eyes I could lose myself in.

~/~

I wake up several hours later, groaning. I had missed all my morning classes again. I turn on my side to look at the clock, watching the hands tick almost as though to mock me. Tick...Tick...Tick. I sigh and roll back onto my back looking up at the ceiling in deep thought. I suppose a part of me will always love Hermione because she was my first relation where I felt truly intense feelings but I also truly think I'm over her. Cho, on the other hand. I whistle to myself, my toes getting a tingling feeling just thinking about her. Cho Chang is the girl I want to get to know. She's intriguing. Intriguing and straight a mocking voice not unlike Hermione's says in my head. But when do I ever give up on a challenge? And plus Hermione had been straight before she and I hooked up. Maybe I just have that charm to turn the girls. Shut up says what I suppose is my Superego. You're too cocky for your own good, and if you keep thinking like that you're going to end up alone. Hey now, let's all calm down, I'll be fine my ego says. I look up from the bed realizing I'm hearing voices in my head. I shake my body out; Cho really has my mind going.

I hop off my bed and walk sleepily into the bathroom noticing my dorm is completely empty. Throwing water on my face after brushing my teeth and hair, I leave feeling slightly more awake. I walk out of the portrait on route to the Great Hall and as soon as I enter I see Hermione, Ron and Harry in deep conversation at Gryffindor table probably about You-know-Who or some other topic of angst. I groan why can't they just be normal teenagers and then I remember Harry was destined to be this way since birth. I walk closer and catch a bit of their conversation.

"He only followed different instructions to ours," said Ron.

I am wrong; they had been arguing about an object in Harry's hand, a book. I freeze midway and my mind is full of images of Riddle and the Chamber. Ron sighed, "Slughorn could've handed me that book, but no. I get one no one's ever written on. _Puked_ on, by the look of page fifty-two – but."

"Hang on," I say. I'm furious that Harry would stoop that low. Didn't he know what kind of dark magic that book probably contained? "Did I hear right? You've been taking orders from something someone wrote in a book, Harry?"

"It's nothing," Harry replied. I snort.

"It's not like, you know, Riddle's diary. It's just an old textbook someone's scribbled on" he states in a considerablely lower tone. I look at him with my eyebrows raised, "But you're doing what it says?"

"I just tried a few of the tips written in the margins, honestly, Ginny, there's nothing funny-"

Hermione shifts on the bench. "Ginny's got a point," Hermione says. I smile briefly in thanks and then turn my head back to Harry "See." I say. "Get rid of that book, ASAP." He looks at me for a second and then at the book. I examine how he caresses the book and I realize it's too late for him to give it up. I can also feel Hermione's eyes on me even after I've looked away from her and I begin to feel awkward. "Get rid of that book." I repeat and then promptly continue down the table to further the distance between me and Hermione.

I sit down next to Bianca and Malcolm who have been here longer then me as I notice all the half-eaten food stacked up on Malcolm's plate. "You're late." Bianca states. "And where were you during Transfiguration?" I grab a sandwich and play with it in my hands slowly trying to figure out a good excuse as to why I bailed, when out of the corner of my eye I see a gorgeous seventh year flanked by two other people. Roger Davis and a blonde Hufflepuff I recognize as Amanda Scott. Cho Chang has entered the Great Hall and the air leaves my system.

I am staring a little too long because Bianca snaps her fingers in front of my face. "Hello? Hello! Where were you this morning?"I look back at her confused for a moment as to where I am and then remember. "I was asleep." I say rather anti-climatically. Bianca rolls her eyes again muttering what seems to be the word "again" and Malcolm turns to look at me, "Ginny you can't keep missing classes we need to get good O.W.L.S this year if you want..." he keeps talking but I put down the sandwich I've taken out and zone out, Cho is walking straight in my direction. She tucks a beautiful piece hair behind her ear and looks right at me. It feels like time has stopped. In a second I noticed the clothes she was wearing and the titles of the books she was carrying. Then I blink and Cho looks away. Another second passes and Cho is closer now on her way to sit down. I follow her with my eyes in awe of her figure, her hands, face, skin, hair, I can go on.

Roger says something close in her ear and Cho chuckles again, the laugh lighting up all the features on her face, especially her eyes. I look away in case Cho realized she had been staring and I feel like she has so I grab my bag and I'm just about to leave when I hear a singsong voice.

"Hi."

I look up unmoving; the black-haired beauty is two feet away from me on opposite side of the table with a smile on her face. On her way to her table, Cho Chang has stopped at mine? Is she really talking to me? Bianca has narrowed her eyes at Cho. I know why, Bianca is jealous of Cho's good looks, and also I suspect because she is Head Girl. Malcolm says nothing and continues to eat. I take a breath.

"He-Hey Cho."

Merlin, I love the way her name sounded on my lips it was like poetry. I could say it forever and never get bored. I examine her face, she looks confused.

"Are you ok? You look really pale almost like you're about to be sick." she said caringly. I relax at what she has said. She hasn't guessed I am pale because I am nervous around her. I smile up at her, "Must have been something I ate." I immediately regret this sentence because both Cho and I look down at my empty plate. I blush and continue quickly in attempt to cover up my mistake.

"-This morning!" I almost yell. Malcolm looks up at me with a puzzled frown. Bianca it seems has given up trying to understand me "Not right now because, you can see, there's nothing…and- so yes this morning! I must have eaten something, rotten, yes." Cho laughs at my frantic voice and walks around the table, sitting on the opposite side of me where Malcolm isn't. As soon as Cho sits down I try to keep my eyes on her face and not anything lower. Not on her chest or those perfect legs under her skirt.

Cho leans in and whispers in my ear. "You don't have to be nervous around me," she murmurs, her hot breath making my head spin. I flush again and ball my hands into small fists my face only inches away from hers. I can see every eyelash every freckle. I can see her brown eyes and her lips which are moving but I can't hear the words coming out of them. All I can think about is closing that space between them regardless that we are surrounded by all my friends and Professors. I had never wanted to kiss anyone so much in my entire life. Cho moves a centimeter closer and then a voice rings out in my head. She's straight! I pull back, and Cho seems to not have noticed the inner battle in my head. I blink and try to clean my mind and listen to the words coming out of her perfect lips.

"–I know that I'm Head Girl…" Cho is saying, "But there's no need to feel so nervous we're sort of friends now right?"

I am relieved that Cho had mistaken my infatuation of her for nervousness of her badge. "Don't worry that badge isn't _that_ shiny. I try to keep myself together more next time." I say this good-naturedly and watch her expression. She smiles "Good." We sit there in comfortable seconds of silence before I look down at my watch and realize I have to go.

"Listen Herbology is about to start so I need to dash." I say standing up. Cho nods, also standing up and I notice however older she is to me I'm taller than her. As I turn to leave I feel a tug on my sleeve. I turn and realize she is holding on.

"Do you want to hang out sometime?" she asks suddenly. "I feel like there's some air to clear with Harry and all." I am shocked but I take the chance immediately and nod. I could use this time to get to know her, even if to her it was a friendly meeting of friends to discuss Harry. "That sounds great, how about this Saturday at one?" I ask.

"Sounds good, see you there." I turn to leave and then look down to realize Cho has still not let go of my sleeve. Her hand is pulling at the fabric lightly. I feel my heart strain; it feels like she's pulling on my heart lightly. I don't want her to let go. Who knows when she'll ever pull on my robes again? Who knows when I'll ever get this close to her?

"Sorry I get attached easy I guess," she says avoiding my eyes. I don't have time to reply because she hastily walks back to her House table. I watch her leave and wonder about her last words to me. She sits down next to Roger and he immediately starts talking to her looking over in my direction. His face is not angry but he also doesn't seem to be happy. I am still standing when I hear my friends ask me what she wanted. I glance at them not sure myself. "It's nearly time for Herbology guys, I gotta go." They attempt to protest but I've already turned and started to walk.

Silently I am wishing a hand would stop me again. But it doesn't and I continue out of the Great Hall.

~/~


	6. At the Beginning

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Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form, own anything in J.K Rowling's magnificent world. Enjoy.

Chapter 6

_We were strangers starting out on our journey_

_Never dreaming what we'd have to go through_

_Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing_

_At the beginning with you_

_No one told me I was going to find you_

_Unexpected what you did to my heart_

_When I lost hope you were there to remind me_

_This is the start – "At the Beginning" /Donna Lewis & Richard Marx_

~/~

[Ginny's POV]

It was 12:23pm when I step out of the shower, racing to find my favorite shirt and lucky pants. I look around my dorm looking for my other earring and belt before jogging back to the bathroom pants halfway on. Why I wanted to wear skinny jeans when my body was still damp from my inadequate job of my drying me off I would never know. Because by the time all my clothes were on and chucks were on the right feet it was 12:45PM. "Bullocks," I mutter as I search for my belt and jacket. I throw my robes and dirty clothes around looking for the cursed jacket, my head screaming that I'm going to be late to meet Cho. I try to calm myself down but my pants fall down a bit as I bend down to look under my bed and my desire to find my belt becomes even more important. Finally on top of my desk underneath my broom and textbooks do I see the buckle poking out. I grab it too fast and it whips me at the hip. "Bullocks!"I yell this time, clutching my hip, looking for wallet through the pain. It is now 12:53Pm, but I've found my wallet, and my jacket. I throw my wallet into my pocket and run out my dorm, into the common room, and then out of the tower.

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It is now 1:00Pm and I've been waiting in the Great Hall for four minutes trying to fix my red hair and straightening out my jacket perhaps a little too much. I check myself out trying to find any faults before panicking and looking at my reflection in one of the suits of armor. I examine my teeth for any bits of unwanted food, my tongue, and then my ears? I want myself to look perfect.

"What are you doing?" I hear an entertained voice ask softly.

I back immediately away from the suit of armor acting as though it was normal to stare at a suit of metal.

"Nothing." I say a little too quickly. "Just erm, checking the knight for any…dents...and such." I pat the suit of armor as though that makes my statement any less idiotic. Check the suit of armor for dents? Oh its official I've lost my mind. Cho raises her eyebrow but thankfully lets it pass.

"Oh…kay…so where are we going?"

I take a deep breath and reply. "How about Three Broomsticks, I could use a butterbeer. Not that I'm addicted or anything, though how could I be addicted there isn't any alcohol, or is there…"

"-Ginny. I stop talking immediately. She comes closer to me, touching me lightly on the cheek, her hand is cold but soft and small.

"Relax," she finishes, touching the bridge of my nose. I smile weakly. "Sorry." I state, "I'm just a bit nervous. You scare me a little bit." I close my eyes and immediately take back what I've said. "What I mean is you intimidate me."

She looks away, and I don't know what to do. Have I offended her somehow? She only scares me because I'm not sure if I control my hands from reading out to grab her face and kiss her.

"We don't have to do this; I knew it was a bad idea." My heart sinks and I feel guilty. I forget she's so fragile. I walk over quietly to face her, "No it's ok, I'm sorry, that was rude of me to say. I'm just scared I'll..." I break off. She looks up.

"Scared you'll do what?" She has an unreadable face on.

"Never mind, come on, I say, let's have a drink!"

~/~

It's been thirty minutes of the most fun I've had in a while. Once you get past Cho's protective walls, she's actually quite funny. She's on her sixth Butterbeer laughing about her fourth year and Snape's fashion sense. "Have you seen those tight robes he wears? And in all black?" She laughs "I mean what is he trying to tell us?" I laugh but in my head I honestly have no idea what she means. I smile anyways because I've never seen her look so happy in my entire Hogwarts career. She downs her Butterbeer and then stands up leaning across the table to whisper in my ear "I'm going to get some Firewhisky, do you want some?" I nod. She smiles, "Great be right back." I watch her go up to bar, watching the way the dress she's wearing hugs her body in all the right ways. She leans over the counter to talk to the bartender and I see her thighs and I think I might explode with pent up sexual frustration. It's been so long since I've been with a girl that I don't know if I can control myself. But then I remember this isn't a date. This is just a friendly meeting of two acquaintances to discuss a common friend in this case Harry. But I examine Cho again, she's dressed in a very tight dress with high heels and I can recall she was wearing makeup. I frown, so it seems like she got dressed up for this occasion, is that normal? And I look around me, staring at her bag, she's asked me where we should go, we are in a rather secluded part of the Three Broomsticks, I offered to pay; she laughed at my jokes and complimented my shirt and hair. IT certainty seems like a date. Cho is walking back now a flask in her hand and two pints of firewhiskey on a tray in the other hand. She is smiling, seemingly enjoying herself. She sits into the booth with me handing one pint over. 'I know you're underage but you definitely don't look it." she says softly, pulling my hair behind my ear and taking a sip.

I take a sip too trying to act as cool as possible but her hand sends shivers down my spine.

I take a deep breath feeling the liquid burn my throat and I pluck up the courage to ask her why were are really here. "So we came in here to talk about Harry," I say slowly. She takes another sipping not looking at me and nods. "Right." she says staring at the table "To clear up any issues, I heard that you were interested in him." she says though there is unmistakably a tone of disappointment in her voice. "Who told you that?" I ask wondering if she is disappointed Harry might be off the market. "Word gets around, I'm Head Girl remember, I patrol the corridors every night and catch snippets of the latest gossip.

"Do you like Harry or something?" I ask innocently taking another sip of the burning liquid. She freezes up the moment the last word is out of my mouth. "No." she says curtly downing the rest of the liquid. "No I don't like anyone. And I suppose I never will again." I observe her to see if she's joking. We've just spent about an hour laughing and telling jokes, but it seems the mood has changed. She is quiet now as though deep in thought remembering something, or someone. My head is now a bit fuzzy, and I boldly ask "Do you want to talk about it?" She looks up from her nearly empty glass.

"Talk about what? She says although she knows what I meant.

"Never mind."I say feeling guilty I've brought it up.

"Cedric, right? You mean do I want to talk about Cedric Diggory." Her tone is cold and vacant and I wonder if maybe we should raincheck the rest of this day, but then she sniffs and in a matter of seconds, tears are pouring out of eyes.

"Cho don't cry please don't cry." I say in a gentle tone.

"You don't understand, I need to get over him, and I need to move on but it's so hard, and, and," her shoulders are trembling and I understand that she needs someone to talk to. And by Merlin I can be that person. I am going to be proactive about this. I grab her jacket and mine and walk around the other side of the table and touch her hand.

"Come on let's talk about this, I know a place no one will be at. We'll be alone and you'll have privacy. Let me help."

I know I haven't known her for that long, but she was normal for an hour, she was happy and I want her to be like that eternally. I want her to move on and cope with her past and I want to the person who leads her to this.

She takes my hand, and I lift her up as though she was a delicate flower. Our hands turn from a cubbed embrace to fingers interlocking. She mumbles a thank you and a sorry and we leave the bar. It's cold outside and I can tell she's cold even though she has her jacket on so I take mine off and put it across her shoulders. We walk up the road en route to a very well-known and definitely abandoned shack.

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	7. Strange and Beautiful

**Please also review after reading, it inspires me to continue and makes me believe that what I work hard on is appreciated. If you are reading this on your phone as I often do with fanfiction, don't forget to get online sometime and hit me up! Even a simple "Hey this was great, or "This sucked Merlin left…" you get what I'm saying. Even a simple review like that is all I need to keep going. Thank you so much. And now onto the chapter! Chapter 8 will be out soon.**

**xXx**

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form, own anything in J.K Rowling's magnificent world. Enjoy.

Chapter 7

_I've been watching your world from afar,_

_I've been trying to be where you are,_

_And I've been secretly falling apart,_

_I'll see._

_To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,_

_You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,_

_You turn every head but you don't see me.- "Strange and Beautiful" / Aqualung_

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[Ginny's POV]

We walk up the street; her hand is in mine, laced tightly as if she would die if I let her go. It's beginning to get colder and I know I have to get to a building soon, she's so delicate. I wouldn't want to cause her any more pain then I have. The path is rocky and she trips several times but I hold her steady. We say nothing; we only walk in silence up the road me leading. After several minutes we arrive at the top of the road, people are walking past us in the opposite direction to get out of the cold. They almost run into us a couple times but I swerve and duck and try to make sure Cho follows my movements. We take a left and the rocky road becomes a dirt path and there are trees now and not many people. Cho turns her head to me and I can feel her looking at me questioning where I'm going. Suddenly I hear a crack of thunder and we both jump. Now I am even more desperate to find the shrieking shack. One more crack of thunder goes off and then it comes. The rain comes down in pour before we even realize it. Without thinking I start to run pulling her hand in mine. I laugh and it's contagious. She smiles and soon I heard her laughing. We laugh and run in the rain. She doesn't let go. I see the shack in the distance and by this time I am sure she has too. We run around a fence and step over a couple of warning signs and then open an ancient door near the back. I shut the door and instantly the sounds of the wind are caught off. All I can hear is our breath gasping in air from our sprinting. We are both soaking wet and Cho's lips are starting to turn blue. I pull my wand out and mutter an incantation. My wand emits hot air and I use this to first dry Cho off and then myself. She looks slightly better and I look around for a fireplace. There is one at the back of the room with a hook hanging above it. "Incendio!" I mutter and the fireplace bursts into flames. The shack looks less terrible now and it is definitely warmer. There is a broken couch located in the corner with a dirty blanket hanging off the side. "Repairo!" I mutter pointing my wand to the couch and then "Scourify!" I mutter to the blanket. We walk to the newly fixed couch and I wrap Cho in the shabby blanket. We sit there for couple seconds before I get up to look for a tea kettle. I spot a cauldron on a table near the door. That will have to do for now. "Tergeo!" I whisper inside the filthy cauldron and then "Aguamenti!" The cauldron fills with water and I hang it on the hook. I go back to Cho and sit with her waiting for it to boil.

She turns her head, she has been watching me do all of this. "Thanks," she murmurs. I don't say anything but I notice she is looking a little better. There is color in her cheeks. The thunder cracks again and we look out through a grubby window near the ceiling. It is still pouring and I can still hear the wind howling. "Do you want to go back? The weather is getting really bad." I ask quietly. She shakes her head. "No we might as well wait it out."

My heart soars. I've wanted this so long to be alone with her that I cannot believe it's actually happening. I look around the shack examining all the broken pieces of furniture and the fact that I can only see certain parts of the shack where the fire reflects.

"There's bound to be some tea in here" I say, "We are in Britain after all." I pull my wand out, mutter _lumos _and walk around the couch to another room in the shack. The floor boards creak under my weight and all the doors and windows have either been ripped off or boarded up. I enter the room in the back and see more blankets, extra robes, and a lot of empty flasks. There is a small cupboard to my immediate left and I open it up, it is full of bandages, whiskey, books and lo and behold there is a tin can with no lid full of tea. I grab some tea and whiskey and run back into the fire-lit room. Cho is still there. The water in the cauldron has boiled and I conjure up two mugs and some sugar and then scoop the hot water into the mugs. I drop the tea in and sugar and set them down on the floor near the couch. I also set the whiskey down and I don't ignore the way Cho's eyes seem to follow it. She picks up her mug and takes a sip. I sit down next to her also taking a mug and stare at the fire. The mug burns my hand but the heat that Cho is radiating on to me seems to burn my head. She's so close, and the way the fire lights up her face is making my heart pound uncontrollably.

I glance at her face again and then remember why we even came here in the fire place.

"So, do you want to talk about it?" I ask softly.

She nods taking another sip before putting it down.

"I haven't been really able to open up about it, but I don't know I feel safe around you for some reason. And you did all this, she points to the fire and the tea. It's like you really care."

"I do care." I say as I pat her leg gently. "Go on, tell me."

"I was in love with him. She says. With cedric. We were perfect for each other. We were going to be together forever we were going to be married have loads of kids, and grow old and die together. He knew everything about me everything about my family and my life. He was my whole world. When he died I felt empty. Soon after my sick dad died. And it was just like everyone around me was dying. My mother left me and moved to Germany to live with a new boyfriend so I was alone. I started smoking and drinking and-" she cuts off. I look at her hands that had suddenly pulled up her sleeves. I reach out removing her hands and see what she has been hiding. Underneath her jacket sleeves were her wrists. They look fine but she seems ashamed that I am looking at them. I suddenly understand, she is hiding something.

"Aparecium!" I whisper pointing my wand to her wrists. Razor marks appear suddenly as soon as the spell removes the magic that was covering them. I gasp softly and look at her, tears in my eyes. There are so many cuts and on both wrists. I move to hug her and she embraces me slowly and then tightly towards the end.

"Oh Cho…" I whisper. "None of those deaths had anything to do with you. Why would you do something as silly as that! Don't ruin yourself. Don't ever do that again. You're beautiful."

Cho looks at me and says nothing, she opens her mouth a couple times, but it seems she cannot find the words. "Thank you." she says at last. "Thank you, I…I needed to hear that." I nod and move to grab my mug before I feel a pair of lips touch mine.

I can't believe it, Cho Chang, Cho BLOODY Chang is kissing me! -And pushing off my robes. I'm in shock, but soon able to clear my conscience. One look from Cho's lust filled eyes inspires me. I know I shouldn't be doing this, Cho's weak and breakable but I want to fix her, and show her happiness and true bliss. I don't want to be cocky but I know how to use my hands, my mouth my body. I can give her what she wants and needs. But will she ever forgive herself and let him go? Will I ever truly be able to be in her heart? Or am I using her just as she is using me. Is she just another fuck; am I just someone to fuck her? What am I to her? What is she to me? Is this even right for me to sleeping with her when I like Harry. Will she become like Hermione and shun me and not accept what we are. OR will she be like Dean and become clingy. Would she turn mean? Would it even get that far? Why am I doing this?

I pull away. "Are you sure?" I softly whisper. Cho looks up from her hands into my eyes, and I feel my heart strain. I can see Hermione in her face because I know what Cho is thinking. It's all too familiar the wanting and almost pleading look of "Just do me Ginny, I need this." Cho's face is covered in tears, and her mascara is running but she has another look about her that is different from Hermione. There's no sign of the "It doesn't mean I love you, or that I want to be with you in the open" that Hermione always had hidden in her eyes. Cho's eyes reflect a deeper connection, a deeper want something that I wasn't used to. Cho is not afraid to talk to afterwards. To acknowledge what we had done. I felt my throat stricken and I felt my eyes tear up, I have been looking for someone to be that person. To stay with me through the night. I lean over across the cold floor, one hand on the wooden planks and one hand on her shoulder and lightly peck her lips. She smiles into my mouth closing her eyes.

"I don't know what to do though." She says quietly with a touch of panic in her words. I look at her closely noticing she has a faint blush in her cheeks from the obvious embarrassment she is feeling. I grin.

"Let me show you."

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End file.
